Ode to the Troubadour

Bold statements are true.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor. -- uncle's a doctor, aunt is an attorney
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.  --higher
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home. --500 is a lot of books...
9. Were read children's books by a parent. --Pippi Longstockings ftw!
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 -- swimming
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18 --swimming, tennis and piano
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively. --I'm probably most like Will from Will and Grace, and he's portrayed positively. More so than Grace anyway.
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18. -- I graduated high school when I was 17.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs. --yeppers, 3k a month from parents.
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs --yepp, not lifting a finger here...
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp --worst summer ever
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels --yes, always, every single one...
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 -- only child ftw
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them -- no, pollution is bad.
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child --asian scroll looking things that were from my grandma
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
25. You had your own room as a child
26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18 -- never really talk in the phone
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college -- my parents set up a hedge fund for me 8 months prior to me born
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
31. Went on a cruise with your family.
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up. -- more like me wanted to visit them... free museums ftw
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

Chocolate Fudge Brownies is the shit.

I sigh too much. Way too much. Which is why I need too train to not sigh. Or, it could be just because that I haven't had any formal excercise in 2 years, my heart and lung conditions aren't at the top notch as it (never) has been. Or, it could just be me being depressed over my love life. *deep sigh* But I hope it's not reflected with me sighing all the time. I really hope not.

Or it could be my own bodily odours. Probably not. I always smell nice. I think. I like my own fermones. I could become autosexual. Hahaha.... No, scratch that.

I finally finished reading the book "Almost like being in love" took me two days I think. Fastest I've ever read a book. 300 something pages though, so it's nothing to brag about. It's great, I loved it. It's Hollywood sappy, but it's great. I love it. I want it. I crave it. Why isn't my life like that?!
Maybe I'll find someone and get to know them, like them, they fill up my criterias. Maybe they'll love me back... maybe... maybe...

I was a bit worried near the ending, almost looked like it would have an anti-climatic ending, and a very depressive emotional suicidic ending (for my part). But it didn't. The book sparked ideas for me as well, to take initiative, I have such a small comfort zone, that it's not fun...

I might be wanting to start taking up writing again. I did take courses in creative writing and english (highest grade in both of them). But not sure how to do it, and make it personal. Neither do I know if I should make it private or to post it somewhere. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... oh well.

Wow, so many things has happened since I last updated!
Sky frenzy - wow, long lasting, effective, fun!
Barcelona trip! I went to see Harley! OMG! The whole entity called Sergi Oca is just awesome! Although, he's not really my type of guy that I hang out with, he's just awesome. Octavi sure is a lucky guy!
FFXI update - last mission, was awesome! This one beats any other expansion endings. The 2handed weapons got a weapon. Now I've retired THF, MNK and WAR on the spot. Should have to return the equipment that I borrowed soonish....
Our Nyzul Isle static reached floor 95 and decided to start farming. We're awesome. Oh yeah. Haven't gotten anything good yet. Think we lack some TH...

What else, oh, my grandfather died... I guess I should mourn about that.

Now that I'm back on the meat market again. I guess I should start actively find a boyfriend...
I found this really incredible checklist that I thought that I might use. Just for the heck of it.

	Tony's boyfriend checklist
Name:	Duration:
Occupation:	Where we met:
	Beginner Level
____	Can say "I love you"
____	Isn't hiding another boyfriend.
____	Thinks kissing is sexy
____	Has a glowy smile
____	Is at least marginally sensitive
____	Will probably remember my name the next morning
	Intermediate Level
____	Can say "I love you" without my saying it first
____	Likes me enough to tell me I'm special
____	Trusts me enough to tell me I'm wrong
____	Teases me when I need it but knows when to stop
____	Pursues making me laugh as a hobby
____	Pretends to like the same things I do even when he doesn't
____	Misses me when we're apart
____	Isn't afraid to fight with me
____	Allows to drive him crazy
____	Would rather do nothing with me than something by himself
____	Can fall asleep in my lap while I study -- and still call it a date.
	Top-of-the-line level
____	Can say "I love you" with his eyes
____	Never lies (except to spare my feelings)
____	Doesn't worry about losing me because he knows he can't.
____	Forgets there was a time when we didn't know eachother.
____	Kisses me for no good reason
____	Celebrates my faults
____	Sighs when I hold him
____	Lets me have a time-off when I need it.

So, what do you think? Too much? Well, I'm not expecting someone to fill them all, because I sure don't. Just a checklist for the future.

 So, I got a PT invite, from a SMN. Really nice one. She said that she had a RDM and a PLD as well. So I joined. The PLD however was in Selbina and had to take the first ferry over to Mhaura and the second ferry over to Aht Urghan from there...
So it takes him 10 mins for the Selbina - Mhaura ferry to arrive. Approximately 15 mins to get to Mhaura. The ferry to Aht Urghan arrives 4 mins after that. No sweat! But what happens? He misses that ferry so we have to wait another 25 mins for the next one to arrive. Then when it does arrive the ferry to Aht Urghan takes approximately 25 minutes as well.

5 mins after he arrives and stands idle at the port he says this:



Note that I didn't even bother with blurring his name since, well, he just wasted 1hour 30 mins of my life which I could've done in a more productive way. Like napping.

Haidate. Finally. Wow. Thank you Baha for passing.
I'm so happy. So... so... happy.

So, planning ahead. Basically, my Chemistry department failed to announce that Pharmaceutical science is no longer an education that they're planning to finance in the future and is therefore taken off the course. Which means that the education that I'm receiving after summer vacation is just plane ole' Chemistry. That means that I'll have to replan my education and how it will work out. As well with the new Bologna Process which is the reform for the European Union to make education a lot more better (complicated and screwed over).

I'll be transferring to the Candidate programme of Chemistry, where I've already completed the first year of:
- Beginners Chemistry 15 hp
- Math 15 hp
- Physical Chemistry 15 hp
- Organic Chemistry 15 hp
I've already gotten points from before in Statistics. 30 hp
Totalling my points for: 90 hp

Second year I'll be taking these following courses:
Biochem I 15hp
Coordination chemistry 7,5hp
Inorganic Chemistry 7,5hp
Analytical Chem 15hp
Molecular Chem 15hp

What I'm unhappy about here is the Coordination Chemistry and Molecular chemistry, they don't seem that interesting to me... and the website hasn't even written what those courses are about...

Third year I can start choosing different courses. Here's where it gets complicated. During the third year, you chose to stick with the candidate programme as the new EU reform is about -or- you can stick with the old system, Magister programme. Which is an additional year. You write a research thesis depending on what year you pick.

During the free pick I'd like to read more advanced Organic Chem or Biochem, we'll see after I've taken Biochem I. Also, I'd like to take Bioanalytical toxicology or something involved with toxicology. Hmm... complicated. Oh well, we'll see.

There's a lot to chose from. I can practically take courses anywhere I want to. If it's abroads within EU or just taking courses in another school? At the moment, I'm just checking schools close to home. Like the Royal IT (KTH), Karolinska Institutet and Uppsala University. There are a lot of exciting things. Karolinska Institutet is more into bioinformatics and Uppsala is centred on pharmaceuticals.

I suck at lotting. Period. Suck. Lost lot on Manteel and lost lot on Anu's Doublet today.
To the same Taru too. Kamehameha. Although I don't feel any grudge towards him, since he's so nice and all, and he does have better BRD equipment than me... I cannot feel down that I suck at lotting. Thus not getting gear at all... le sigh...

Wow, so I was in charge of the Snolls. I got to do it once before, and then it went pretty well, although we were only there for 15 minutes because we just accepted that our strategy wouldn't work. But man, I thought I was a better BRD than that. Couldn't stay alive even with a great RDM giving haste, phalanx and cure IVs. First I'd get resists on every 8th I sleep. And then almost one third of them would get half-resisted waking up after 15 seconds. The only solution was to invite another BLM in and let him help me out with Sleepga. Which was just a lot easier... 3 man cell on 5 snolls is the way to go. Long fight this time, almost took 3 hours to take down. It dropped the Mercurial Pole though. Congratluations Geli!



Ooo. I like Lapinpsykopathe a lot. This Taru in our LS. I really like all my LS's Tarus, they're all really nice. So I was kind of thinking of doing this featured thing with the Tarus in my LS. :D Well, Lapinpsykopathe, or Lapin, is a Taru SMN main but he has RDM and BST at 75. He has a high levelled WHM and BRD as well (70+). He's French and I first met him in the biggest French LS on Phoenix called FrenchKamikaze, oui, je parle francais. He lives somewhere in France and works in a porn shop. We kind of joke around with him about him masturbating too much and get overexposed by porn.

I've seen his irl picture once too. He looks a bit like the singer in that emo/punk band... what's it called again? They wrote Basket case. *googles* Oh yeah, Green Day.

I love his SMN attire. It looks so adorably cute on him. He fits in it too. His cheeks are usually red too. Playerwise, I think he's one of the best SMNs in the LS. And he doesn't nag as much as Mellowy. ;) I'm not sure about his RDM skills, because I don't pay attention to it...

Morpho Towers–Two Standing Spirals is an installation that consists of two ferrofluid sculptures that moves synthetically to music. The two spiral towers stand on a large plate that hold ferrofluid. When the music starts, the magnetic field around the tower is strengthened. Spikes of ferrofluid are born from the bottom plate and move up, trembling and rotating around the edge of the iron spiral.
The body of the tower was made by a new technique called “ferrofluid sculpture” that enables artists to create dynamic sculptures with fluid materials. This technique uses one electromagnet, and its iron core is extended and sculpted. The ferrofluid covers the sculpted surface of a three-dimensional iron shape that was made on an electronic NC lathe. The movement of the spikes in the fluid is controlled dynamically on the surface by adjusting the power of the electromagnet. The shape of the iron body is designed as helical so that the fluid can move to the top of the helical tower when the magnetic field is strong enough.
The surface of the tower responds dynamically to its magnetic environment.

Chemtest... Friday morning. 9AM to 2PM. Wow. I passed it. Wished it went better than it did though, since I'm thinking of doing organic chemistry in the future. Well, I am... since it's pharmaceutical science. Thinking of combining it with neurochemistry...
The most stupid thing about the test, is that out of everyone who wrote the test, around 46 people, only 2 people got the higher grade. Which is why the test probably was a bit too difficult. Le sigh, really would like to rewrite the test... Gonna ask for it today. I think, when I check out my exam. Got my summer vacation now.

Going to Spain in mid-august to see Sergi, a friend of mine. First time we meet too, online contact and all. His english skills is poor, but the cute thing about him is that he learned it all from video games. d(>_<)b gaymer for life. 6 days in Barcelona. All right! :D Too bad I'm going there during the hottest period, aparently it's going to be 40 degrees there. And I'm already complaining about the heat when it's 26 degrees outside.

FFXI-related.
Fafhogg camping last night. Was a funny shout in the middle of it that's too amusing to not comment.
Think, Spongebob Squarepants theme.


We were at sea later that night, I don't like that place. I wonder why. It's probably because of the sharks and the UFOs. I don't like the UFOs the most, but that's only because their heads looks like my head equip... Bard's Roundlet... *fumes*
We met up with the Jailer of Temperance, hard bastard to kill with it's shifting immunities. Not once did it change to slashing.

So I'm trying to go through the whole Bible now, again, for the third time. It's kind of boring, but I found this short version of the bible in the library... still has 935 pages but it's a lot easier to go through and understand. I'm not religious by the way, I'm agnostic, I was brought up as a confucianist. You know, the "great" philosophy that brought up the caste system? The ones that tells you how you're born into your destiny and how you must achieve it. A son of a doctor becomes a doctor, a son of a shop keeper becomes a shop keeper, etc. Anyways, I've finished the very, very shortened version of the Coran, that just summarizes the way of living -- quite interesting tbh. Nothing that I really believe in.

So how come I'm reading The Bible? Well, I'm not sure. I kind of listened through a musical called "The Children of Eden" and one of the songs, Lost in the Wilderness kind of caught me off guard and made me read it. It's about Cain and Abel, and wow, Cain actually kills Abel afterwards. The song kind of catches Cain's emotions before he turned against God and his brother, and it's... very beautiful.

So big FFXI update yesterday. Logged on and put 3 merits into Singing right away. We'll see how it changes my playing.

When I woke up this morning, it was as if I didn’t recognize the person looking at me in the bathroom mirror anymore. Oh, of course, I recognized the sun-bleached, dark hair with the square-off , chiseled jaw and prominent dimple resting in the middle of my chin. Same too, with my deep-set, dark brown eyes—accented by high cheek bones, rugged, heavy eyebrows, and a short, narrow nose that tended to curl up at the tip near the nostrils. As far as my physical features were concerned, everything was familiar…the usual and ordinary. But apart from that, it was all different.

I didn’t feel like the same person—even my thoughts seemed new and strange. It was funny—in an odd sense—that noone ever crossed my mind as much as he did now. It wasn’t the fact that I never thought of people, it was just that there was something about that him which seemed to sneak into every corner of my conscience. There was nothing more in my longings and desires than to be with him—talking to him, looking at him, doing virtually anything with him without feeling obligated, smothered or manipulated. In short, I find it simply fun just to be with him—whatever the activity. Was this love… or an obsession? I can’t tell. Really, I don’t care....

Hell just froze over! Literally. For me. And I'm just being stupid and vain. I've always had this high metabolism as a kid, could eat whatever I wanted and not worry about getting fat. Lately, I've just been eating a lot of different junk food. So... started to see signs of a tummy. If I had a camera, I would probably post a pic of it. Really need to start jogging. >.< Haven't done it in 2 years... *sigh* Think I'm going bald too.

Anyways, Salvage today! W00t! We finally beat Bhaflau Remnants! :D Long Bow Chariot met his destiny! Eight brave Troopers!
We beat it with 2x WHM, 1x BLM, 1x RDM, 1x NIN and 2x MNK. Shocking huh? Goddamnit it was a good run, it went smooth and in the end we arrived with most of our restrictions gone and highly pimped out on equips we went in and slayed the machina. I was too exited during the midst of battle so I didn't get a chance to take a screenshot. But we got a nice pic of our group afterwards.

Ea's Dastanas dropped for me to lot. Thanks Jinksko for passing. :) Tsukikazu Haidate dropped too, which gives Aurone 2/3 towards the leg piece.



In retrospect, I probably should've zoomed in before taking the screenshot...

Wow, I read this article:

The attacks occurred in the town of Groningen, Expatica News and ANP said Wednesday.

Police say the men met their victims in Internet chatrooms and lured them to sex parties. The victims allegedly were drugged with GHB and then injected with the HIV-infected blood.

Five victims between the ages of 25 and 50 have reported to the police so far. Officials say they believe there are more victims out there.

The suspects, three of whom are homosexual, are charged with premeditated grievous bodily harm and face up to 16 years in prison.

I'm just too sad to even comment about this. After I read this article I decided to take a pause in my studying and watch this movie called Hate Crimes. It's a movie about Hate Crime and how it effects people around them. I'm really bad at describing things, my words never seem to do justice to anything I like. (I'm really good at dissing things though) One very strong scene in the movie is when they show a segment of two sermons and kind of intertwines the both pastors preaching. One preaching about love and one preaching about fear.

Since I'm not a religious person, I can only imagine how they are, but they are surprisingly like this at the church of Philadelphia (Religion class project, mandatory, not my choice, I promise). It was the only sermon I've been to too... Think I lost my thoughts somewhere there. Was just a weird experience. People standing up during their prayer with their hands reaching out to the ceiling and people next to you talking in tongues. And when I didn't join in for the prayer, the minister looked directly at me during the whole prayer. Yikes...

Religion should guide ones life, but please be careful so it doesn't controll it. I think religion is a great way to tell you how to help you through times of joy (weddings, birthdays, etc.) and help you past times of grief (deaths, sickness etc.) but it should never tell you how to think of others and to always interpret the holy book your own way, not how someone else tells you to interpret it.

I had a weird class mate once, he was a mormon.  Instead of things normal people had like, the periodic table or the Team Rocket theme song (grade school... c'mon) he had pictures of Jesus. Which was weird. But not all mormons are bad, talked to a gay mormon once, was one great experience and I had lots of laughs. He told me that his congreation wasn't very up to date on the excommunications so he was still a mormon, but he was out, and had a great life.

Oh wait, I remembered what I was going to say about hate crime! Something about me being afraid of really being out because of it. And to live in the states because I think everyone there are homophobes, well, at least those who lives in the middle areas.

Oh yeah! I had a nightmare tonight! I was a heterosexual male... or a lesbian woman, anyways, it was very vivid and I remember it very well, I was suckling a girls nipples and then tracing my tongue down to their vagina... (before you know who asks me on MSN, I did -not- check if I had a hard on when I woke up.)

Has anyone noticed where the light is located and how it follows an Elvaan's manhood when you raise them?
Kind of interesting... Here are some screenshots:

There is no way for a Taru MNK below 40 to dress nicely. Pre 39 and 40 we'll be stuck with our Wonder Koftan's and Wonder Clomps and Subligar. Sure we'll still have Subligar post 40 because there isn't anything worthwhile to get MNKs in the legs department. But we'll have Jujitsu Gi and Fuma Kyahan, which are in fashion sense a lot hotter and in the usability sense a lot better as well.
Got my MNK up 2 levels in an one hour PT, of course I used Empress Band and Anniversary Ring... was a really good PT made out of a lot of 37-40 players (fighting Soldier Crawlers!). 4 Japanese 1 American and 1 Swedish Taru!
BRD
NIN
SAM
RNG
WHM
MNK



Having difficult staying awake while playing WHM, still 70, and not getting any PTs as SMN either.

On a non-FFXI notice, if I see another reaction mechanism I promise you that I'll vomit. Just thinking of them makes my head spin and my stomach churn. To think that my future field is supposed to be organic chemistry as well. Makes me kind of sad.

Phoenix got the most awesome-wawsome Drama tonight! Tiamat! Atthowa Chasm!
It's Memorial Day today for our American friends, this means, no school/work and the servers populated with early playing americans. Which also means that Tiamat got claimed (15 seconds before our PLD arriving) before us.

Another LS claims with NIN/DRKs, RDM/DRK, BRD, a few WHMs. That's it. I think, no DDs at all. And were holding it for a long time, meantime while Finale was sitting idly by while they were holding it for more than 45 minutes until, surprise, surprise, their first DD arrives. During the long 45 minutes we contemplated on calling a GM and we finally decided that it might be a good idea. Since hey, we're actually here and could bring the Grand Wyrm down. Lucky us that we were #43 on the queue. After maybe 10 minutes we get a message from the Help Desk with this following message:

= GM Lunch Break
Ok, feeling defeated we get idle and await for them to screw up. Sky was on the schedule as well so we decide to have some people stay behind. Mainly the tank PT (PLD, PLD, NIN, WHM, RDM, BRD) and 1 WAR & an extra BRD.

During this time they still didn't really move the HP guage.

But we did get a Confession, which I'm going to call Confession at the Battlefield, in memory of the great (yet passé) gay icon, Madonna.


An inside joke, the non-blurred out are LS mates, the blurred part are from the ones that has claimed Tiamat. Kind of an inside joke inside Finale with our two respectively PLDs. (We have Shield, they have Sword, which is so Suikoden II in a drama ensued way).

So more from that LS arrives, we shall call them red LS from now on. They're starting to damage it and when it's at 88% our GM finally arrives to our leader, which quickly disregards the situation, since now when it's damaged, they can't do anything (after maybe one hour...). Another LS, we shall call them green LS from now on, starts to arrive now as well. Not much happens, Tiamat is getting angrier and angrier, more people die, and suddenly, this happens:

at

I know. I know, I know, I know. They die, people are trying to claim it, the green LS claims it. I mean, who wouldn't want to claim it?
The Green LS though are having trouble, even though they're surprisingly many. Green LS later loses the hate and it goes unclaimed again. Stun war between Red LS and Green LS ensues to see who gets most hate and who gets the claim. It gets white for a very long time. Red LS gets it back, but with one problem, Green LS still has hate, so Tiamat is pounding down on the Green LS while unable to do anything at all. Death Galore! People were dying left to right while Tiamat was having her little shuffle between tanks, mages and poor people on the edges. It went down to 1% and things got really heated up between Tiamat. And KABOOM! The most orgasmic event happens! WE GOT CLAIM! Of course, with our small group of 8 people, it didn't go so well.
Here's a pic of the maybe one minute we got hate and we were so slow on getting it dead. :( It went up to 2% during the time, but we got it back to 1% after that, followed by a wipe.



What a day! What a day! I haven't had much excitement in one minute since... well... not for a long time in FFXI. Green LS ended up killing it with a bit of difficulty (still at 1%). But I'm not disappointed that we didn't win, of course, it would be just pure awesome if we did.